Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Lifestyle

Go to the Bathroom

The bathroom is the room everyone goes to for relief. Sometimes to fill the quiet acoustics of the room with thought, songs or even cries. It is a place where, unless you have children or pets or a significant other, you can have some privacy as well as perspective.

E95C8F62-4CB0-488E-8ADE-A31BD5CF2602.jpegIf the klutz in me wouldn’t inevitably fumble the laptop into the water, I would have so many posts done by now. The bathroom is where inspiration hits most often and where the mind wanders toward relaxation and clarity, which is also why I don’t write posts when the inspiration hits. I don’t want to stain my free-flowing, relaxing stream of consciousness and turn it into an accomplishment. That would rob the healing that simultaneously accompanies the bathroom’s role of enlightenment.

The past couple of times that I took a nighttime bath, I had such relaxation and clarity. I was in my own little, quiet space, my own world if you will. So many wonderful blog posts came to mind! Not just blog ideas, but whole posts spilled out! Then I got out of the tub and forgot them all. Disappointed, I felt that I will never be able to write another decent post. Ugh. My mission for Life is Chronic is to relate chronic illness problems with problems not specific to people of the chronic illness lifestyle.

But, damn, who wants to spend t7A9CA1B4-C84E-4DA1-8A33-EC1A4763DFDC.jpegheir lives defining their lives by concentrating so much on their limitations, illness or not. I feel like the first half of my day is being spent just getting to the point where I can be functional. I beat myself up for being at the mercy of my own body.  I mean that I seriously dwell in blaming myself for not being able to put mind over matter and just make myself well. I know, it sounds stupid. It is stupid.

After the immediate and initial visit of day to the bathroom is relieved, I must convince my ego that I am a contributing member of society. So, I do the dishes. Then, I wonder… what other chore can I do before eating breakfast? Breakfast is a reward for proving that I am still useful. The bath following breakfast that helps the stiffness shut up a little is often an essential part of my day. My bath is my place to start my day all over again, the place to acknowledge that I am being respectful of my body, respectful of my life. I have life to give. I have life to live. The soak in the bathroom has hopefully prepped my body’s stiffness for yoga. The stiffness and pain meet yoga, giving respect to the day and, give in to the world a better chance to know the me I intend to be.

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Upon reflection: We all may benefit from using the bathroom more often.

Life, it’s chronic. Thanks for reading!

Wendy

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Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain

Writing a Post When You are Ill.

Writing is the same as pretty much everything else when you are knocked-out ill. It sucks.

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Write that post anyway. We can not always wait for when we feel well. When we feel well, writing a post is often not at the top of the to-do list. When we feel well, we can write posts, yes. When we are ill, though, we look forward to experiencing life so that we have something to write about! I am sick to my stomach from migraine upon migraine, but I can write and you’ll think, “Well, at least my post isn’t as bad as THAT one!”

“Knock, Knock.”    “Who’s there?”                                          

Does it matter.”     “Does it matter who?”                              

No, it doesn’t matter who is knocking, illness may not let you answer.”

Illness sometimes doesn’t let much through. This past month has been a constant ping-pong game with the migraines. Back and forth. During this match, I am still expecting myself to work out, make meals, wash dishes, vacuum, do the laundry, try to socialize with family. And write a blog. The migraine won. The migraine has a mean spin on that ball! Will readers understand why I write a blog even though it sucks? I don’t know. Will readers care if your blog sucks? Maybe for a minute. When you finally feel well enough to write your post, the way you want to, you may look back and be glad that you did your best when you wrote that lame post.

Do not apologize for when you are doing the best you can. Do not apologize for the content, the sloppy grammar, the disorganized babble. You will do better next time!

“Knock, Knock.”   “Come back later when I will tell you how to be a mountain goat!”

Some other day. Life, it’s chronic.